Sunday, December 19, 2004

Changes

So why is it o.k. to buy a truck or a matchbox car for my daughter, but to buy a barbie for my son makes my stomach turn and gives me a sad feeling in my heart? I have told him on numerous occasions that barbies are for girls and girls play with dolls and boys play with trucks and cars. Should I just sit back..relax and let things happen? Should I appreciate that he stands up for his own decisions, he's only 3? To him it's not a big deal..it's a toy..and as far as barbies go...they are kinda hot. I asked him why he likes them and he says that they are pretty...then I asked him if he would like a Shaggy doll from Scooby Doo and he says, "no Dad, that's a boy doll". Hmmmm...now I realize that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Adam and Eve messed it up for all of us when they did what they were told not to. Dysfunctional family #1 and it only gets worse from there.. brothers killing each other, brothers leaving family members for dead. Doesn't seem that bad that I have a boy who likes barbies because his sister does. I used to play with barbies, because I too, had a sister 4 years older than me. However, I would rip their clothes off, tear off their heads and use them as dog toys for our airdale terrier. Now which is worse? Was I just trying to make my sister sad by doing that or did I get some enjoyment out of the massacre and dismemberment of a plastic doll? Sign me up for psychiatric evaluation. I give up trying to figure this all out. I'm thinking long term here...stop me if I'm wrong...but...I figure I will let him take a barbie to 1st grade if he wants to....is that mean? The younger kids can be heartless. I'm sure Steve T. has and answer for this.. Steve D. might have to face this issue also.
If I tell my son what he can and can't play with, am I not limiting his curious nature and imagination?
This is not an excerpt from a newspaper article this is the real deal. I would like to know what some fellow bloggers would do in my situation...male and female opinions would be helpful since my wife and I have discussed this many times and are still puzzled at what or how it should be handled.


12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. Teach him how to be a real man. Get down on the floor and play with him and the dolls. Show him how it works. Show him how to dress Barbie up in a half shirt and mini-skirt. Teach him how to say ho and bitch. Show him what happens to her if she doesn't do what ken tells her to.

2. Teach him how to use power-tools. Try showing him how much fun it is to drill holes into Barbie, or cutting off her head with a jigsaw. Maybe you could combine this one with explosives too... Shove a few fire-crackers in those drilled holes and you guys can have some pyro fun. That's always a good father, son bonder.

3. Let it take it's course. I wouldn't worry about it until about 3rd grade or so, by then if he hasn't learned to hide his dirty little secret from his classmates he will be getting beatens on a daily basis and in most cases he will get cured of his evil ways.

LOL... It's a non issue Wade. If G is going to go that route nothing is going to change it. Your time would be better spent just playing with him and enjoying him while you still can.

Because it won't be long before he is off to collage and experimenting with other dirty little Barbie doll playen freaks, and then you will wish you had spent more He-Man time with him... Just kidding buddy... LOL (I personally like #2 above)

BigDog
http://www.mcsites.com

4:15 AM  
Blogger Jason said...

Hey man, my aunt when I was a kid used to get us to play with barbies. and I'm ok right? ok wait, forget about the whole barbie thing, I grew up with guns and trucks. GI JOe dated barbie you know?
confused about his sexuality from Wade's blog,
Roach

5:52 AM  
Blogger Deur said...

HILARIOUS BIG DOG! I vote for number two. I enjoyed many moments of melting my sister's Barbies with lighters!

Here is the key with boys and Barbies. If he takes her clothes off - you are in good shape! What? Just kidding. Relax my friend - Little G is a stud for years to come.

11:30 AM  
Blogger Arkay said...

Here's a big ol' thanks to Big Dog for such a humorous blog comment. Did Logan play with K's barbies when he was little?

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Big Dog... you never seize to amaze me !! YOu crack me up.
I would have to agree with big dog's last two paragraphs. My opinion is its not a big deal. He's going to grow up to be one awsome dude!!! (remember , you and Michelle are doing an awsome job ).

gophergrll

2:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As long as he's not asking for lingerie or a bra, I wouldn't worry.

5:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, that was me, Kory, by the way.

5:27 PM  
Blogger Sue said...

Chill out about it Wade. Would you be worrying if Delaney was taking a Ken doll with her everywhere? No!!! If you make a big deal about it to G, he will cling to it all the more. Kendra did the same thing with Jeff Gordon stuff. When we backed off about it she realized what a loser, whiney butt he really is!!! Let him have his Barbie, it could be worse he could be playing with Tinky Winky Teletubbie!

Have a great Christmas,
Sue

5:26 PM  
Blogger Steve said...

While Big Dog was making funny, I think everything he said was true and good advice. Everything but the last two sentences of point one. But you are begging the question... what are you afraid of? Do you fear him becoming gay? Are you afraid he might be a transexual cross-dresser? Do you suspect that he might only play with barbies for the next 15 years, become a trecker, and never move out of the house? Is your nightmare that these early years of Barbie fixation will turn him into a straight laced right wing fundamentalist? I'm guessing you won't love Garrett any less no matter what choices he makes down the line. And I'm positive his choice of toys now will have NOTHING to do with who he is or who he's becoming.

10:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Wade,
Speaking from a psychologist's point of view....there is nothing wrong with letting Garrett play with Barbies. There are actually professional opinions that state that having boys play with dolls will encourage them to be a loving, nurturing father and we all know there is nothing wrong with that. Besides, at age 3 it is developmentally normal, Quinn still does it at times. When he gets into school, peer pressure will largely dictate what kind of toys he plays with, so for now don't sweat it.

Besides, trying to keep him confined to boy toys will be a losing battle with two sisters in the house!

There's my two cents.
Bren

8:28 AM  
Blogger Arkay said...

This is the first time I have ever commented on my own blog. First of all let me start out by saying that I am truly blessed by having such a cool bunch of friends. I appreciate the comments and opinions. I guess I don't really understand WHY it bothers me so much. I don't tell him what he can and can't do unless it's right or wrong. I don't think I view the barbie thing as RIGHT..so I put it into the WRONG category..where it shouldn't be. I appreciate all of your help on this and hope everyone has a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

12:15 PM  
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4:25 PM  

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